Of late, I have been thinking a whole lot about life & death. There has been so many people in my life both past & present who have passed on, and this has left me wondering what will the world remember me for after I am gone. A few years back (2009 to be precise) I began on a project of writing my autobiography. I promised myself that someday given the platform I would share my story with the world, what has moulded & made me who I am & how in all this my life is a clear reflection of the Glory of GOD. Every week I will share a bit of this autobiography and God-willing someday will compile it into a book in print…here goes part I
I decided that I would do one thing before I eternally departed this life for the better one that hopefully lies at the twilight of this journey: this is to attempt to document the wonder that has been my awesome/awe full existence in this world I love to refer to as the ‘Planet of Apes’.
So with no experience, expertise or edification and armed only with a bouncing spirit, a hunger to tell this story & a notepad, I begin this monologue with my own mind. The roads that I have walked, the people I have met, the wonderful literature that has been born from the tender hearts of men, all have carved & shaped me into the man I have turned out to be. From as far as I possibly could accurately recall, the desire to write has been a torrential & raging fire burning deep within me. I knew then at once that I had a gift unlike many of my contemporaries & that I would get a chance to share with the world the untold stories lost in time, space & translation of the many faces, thoughts, fears, eternally wedged in the crevices of my heart.
I remember throughout my waking years and my adolescent growing pains, my marvel with books was exhilarating. I always imagined myself in the writer’s mind, re-living the amazing stories that I read. I wondered how it was mortally possible for such beautiful writing to be born in the human intellect. Then I poured myself, heart & soul to the unraveling of this mystery. My enthusiasm unwavering, my youth not withstanding I purposed to give back what had been freely & overwhelmingly poured in overflowing into my life.
I constantly wrestle with my other self on the idea that there is nothing really worth writing home (or even writing on an old forgotten wall) about. Still the paradox years after my birth and the tragedies & comedies that followed there after were worth some mentioning in the notorious annals of time. Though deep down I know that somehow everyone has a story to tell no matter how punitive it may to others seem. So my story is every man’s story; of how normal people get to do not so normal stuff. A triumph over what is bent to make us bend over & rising above the self imposed tide of mediocrity & status quo. I now know that our greatness is muffled in our various weaknesses and it is only when we muster the courage & conviction to face that monster that lurks beneath our skin, then we begin to unravel the great purpose of what life is meant to be. So I delved, prodded & ripped open my beating heart to try & understand the intricacies of the person that I was created to be. Yet the more I searched, the deeper I was lost, and the more I labored the more my resentment grew……
***Thanks for taking the time to read through, will continue with Part II next week.