6 months ago, I left my parents’ home to be joined eternally to my soulmate and the love of my life. Along the way I have learnt 3 major lessons and here they are:
1. Cherish one another
Be one another’s biggest fan number one and believe in the potential your partner has and eventually he or she shall eventually be the best.
Case in point: One month into marriage our blog was nominated for the BAKE Awards and since we had been nominated before and lost,Ben had little hope of winning. I purposed to instill positive thoughts in him and every morning when we woke up i always told him that he is the best wedding photographer not only in Kenya but also in the world and that we had a wonderful blog that shall win the award. May 4th 2014, we happily carried the award home.
In the book of Ephesians 5:33 which states:
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
When God calls for a husband to love his wife,this love is unconditional love.When the wife is loved by the husband despite her faults and downfalls,a feeling of admiration and understanding is awaken in his wife and she will learn value the husband and treat him well. This is RESPECT. Respect does something to a soul of a man. It is the key to motivate a man.God create it that way. So when a woman respects her husband and believes in him more than he believes in himself, the husband will want to improve,get better and want to fulfil his potential his wife is seeing in him.
2. Conflicts is not a bad thing
This has become one of our biggest battles since we come from different backgrounds and our lives before marriage used to operate in a certain way.Ben and I hate conflicts since we clearly know we wont talk for several hours because we try fighting fairly :-). On temper we are opposites ,I am quick to anger while Ben is slow to anger.After a conflict, we always learn one another better,brings unity between us and finally it makes us both more like Christ.Whenever we get frustrated about something, we pray about it, trusting Him to help us,that He shall help us love each other and to be patient with each other from pure hearts and good conscience and finally to be set free from whatever may be fuelling anger due to differences.
Case in Point: I come from the family whereby buying of meat was either my dad’s or brother’s responsibility. On the other hand, Ben comes from a family whereby anyone can go and buy the meat. So when Ben asks me to buy meat I get so angry since I know that is a man’s responsibility. In one way or another we have come up with a system that works for both of us.
3. Continue dating one another
Ben and I promised ourselves never to stop going for dates and catch up at least once a month since now we have all the time to ourselves. The reason being it helps us stay connected as a couple since it reminds us why we fell in love with one another. It helps us grow together and also at times couples need some time alone especially when children come. Hence we saw it important to put such a structure into place so that when Kiruthi-lets come, they will just fit in.
Marriage works and we pray many of you shall join this club.